Monday, August 22, 2011

[Review] Sorority House Massacre 2

The original Sorority House Massacre was an awfully boring and generic Halloween clone that had absolutely nothing new or exciting to offer. I was so annoyed by it that I actually started up a list of all the blatant Halloween similarities as I watched.

It was a ginormous list, I tells ya.

Under these circumstances, I obviously assumed the sequel would be a steaming pile of poo. And, well..it is. But it sure is a tasty pile of poo!

Inspired by a few set-pieces at Roger Corman’s studio, Jim Wynorski filmed “The Séance,” a supernatural themed slasher that was completely unrelated to the original Sorority House Massacre. But soon after completion, the title was changed for what I assume was just a marketing ploy—a very odd marketing ploy, I may add. Were people really clamoring for a sequel to such a crappy film?

But anyway, the film starts with a fresh group of college girls moving in to the previously abandoned Hockstatter place with intentions of fixing it up and turning it into the hottest sorority in town. But as a bad storm approaches, the girls receive a very unwelcome visit from their creepy new neighbor, Orville Ketchum, who explains that the house was obviously abandoned for good reason; five years prior, a crazed family man brutally murdered his wife and kids there and no one has touched the place since.

Haven given the girls quite a scare, they inevitably decide to strip to their undies, get wasted and do a little exploring—the perfectly logical next step after being scared shitless. Upon discovering an ominous basement filled with psychotic trinkets and keepsakes, they come across a convenient Ouija board and decide to attempt contact with the deceased murder, at which point the scantily clad bodies quickly start a-droppin’.

Now let us take a moment to wonder how these girls even got accepted into college in the first place. After only about twenty minutes in, we have a haunted house where brutal murders took place, a Ouija board, a bad storm, no phone and a creepy slob living across the street who seems to be watching their every move…and yet the girls think it best to strip off their clothes an unnecessary amount of times and contact the dead?

WHAT THE WHAT?!

I guess I can’t really blame them, though. After all, what would slashers be without stupid girls making stupid decisions, right? Jim Wynorski may not be the greatest horror film writer, but he obviously knows how to turn ridiculous into gold. Sorority House Massacre 2 is a hilariously good time, taking a very tired slasher formula and spicing it up with a few surprises and heaps of blood, never allowing for a dull moment. I even had fun second guessing myself as the killer's identity was kept a secret till the very end. At one point, one of the suspects gets quite the brutal beating and ends up not even being the killer after all. How amazing is that?!

Oh, and did I mention Mr. Wynorski is an uber perv? All of his films play out like softcore porn wrapped in horror movie clothing, and Sorority House Massacre 2 is certainly no exception with its abundance of skimpy lingerie, big fake boobs and slow, sensual shower-taking so the characters don’t have to go to bed “feeling dirty.” And to top it all off, there’s a relatively pointless scene in a strip club at the end as the film’s last hurrah for nudity, as if there wasn’t enough nudity as it were.

Bless this man.

To quote Joe Bob Briggs, "There may have been better horror films made, but not with this many women in their underwear." I think I’ll just have to leave it at that.


RATING:



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