- What should you do if you hear blood curdling screams in the dark? Assume it's the wind!
- What should you do if your boyfriend goes missing, along with many other people? Get naked and take a shower!
- What should you do if you receive threatening phone calls just after a lunatic escaped from an insane asylum? Ignore it!
Okay, nevermind. Maybe the horror genre isn't the best place to look for answers to life's problems. Sometimes the actions of horror film characters can leave you scratching your head, but most of the time I'm able to forgive them as I find their stupidity to be quite charming.
Sometimes, however, I just can't let it slide. I don't know why, but the one particular thing that really drives me crazy is the smearing of blood. Someone will get blood dripped or sprayed all over their skin and clothing, at which point they figure the best thing to do is...smear it?
Case in point, see how it goes from this:
Or, even worse, from this:
WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?!
Madness??? THIS...IS...SPAR—Why on earth would you assume that rubbing the blood all over the place would somehow make it better? I've been told, however, that smearing is the mark of a true man:
So maybe that explains it. But as you can see...smearing made him PIERCE THE FUCKING TOAST, proving my point that smearing is never a good thing. But of course, someone always has to be an idiot.
I HATE THAT!!! And I'm pretty sure LaDonna don't like that shit either...